A Few Small Repairs (The Return Back Home)

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A Few Small Repairs (The Return Back Home)

Although it’s been a couple of years since she ran away from home.
Away from the violence she lived in.
The nightmares would always come to haunt her.
Ghosts from the past.
Every time she closed her eyes, his face would be seen.
His sweat, she could smell. His breath she could hear.

She lived with the burden of guilt in her heart.
The burden of Fear, of Shame.
She was afraid to move on.
But most of all, she was afraid to love.
She feared that everything would end up the same.
In violence, in pain.
And that sickened her.
Because she felt she would never find the strength to feel free.
She felt pity for herself.

His voice and figure would come alive in the back of her mind.
And sometimes it seemed so real,
That she feared he might show up in the middle of the night.
And start it all over again.
That raged her.
She knew at the end she’d go mad.
The only way to move on was to forget the past, somehow.
And to forget it, she must destroy it, in anyway she can.

So she drove the road back home.
Cause it was time for a few small repairs of her own…

II
There it was. Right in front of her eyes.
The house she once spent all her life, in fear.
Her heart beat faster and faster,
Such emotions all this had brought her..
Fear, pain, hate, disgust…rage.
Every sick memory passed in front of her face.
So quiet. No one seemed to be home,
But that really didn’t matter to her at all.
With a bottle of gasoline in her hand,
She was ready to ‘erase” the past.

She slowly walked up the stairs that lead to her room.
His favorite room.
Oh, how painful this was.
But she made the decision to move on,
So she took a step forward.
And there she stood in the middle of the room.
Her eyes closed.
The memories running wild.
A tear slowly ran down her eye.
But she quickly wiped it dry,
Cause it was time…to do things right.

She emptied the bottle of gasoline all over the room.
She lit the match, and watched it burn.
For a while she felt like she was hypnotized.
Like she wasn’t there anymore.
A blink, back to reality. She dropped the match on the floor…

Next thing she knew, she was outside
Watching the house slowly burn.
You could see in her eyes, she was satisfied.
Though…someone should’ve been there, burning inside.
Burning alive…
Paying the price…

That day would come too.
She promised herself. Soon.

This poem is Part3 of The Bleeding Child (Part1) and Living Nightmares (Part2).

I don’t know how much this reflects reality, but it’s how my character ,in all this, decided to act so she could move on. Call it her little vengeance. And, sadly ( if you want to say that) she gets some satisfaction.

I really cant say how people react in these situations, but I do hope the react and try to move on in rational ways…

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